Why Submission is your Secret Weapon

Photo by Jamie Kingham. Found at http://www.jamiekingham.com/pages/lifestyle

The classical view of womanhood has been greatly changed by the feminist movement. To gain independence and rights women have actually foregone their rights. This is a touchy subject and contemporary thinking applies a very negative connotation to the word submission; almost as though a woman were a cowering creature just doing everything her husband desires and asks of her. But this is not so and by applying the principles of Fascinating Womanhood you will find that submission gives you greater power than you could ever have known.

The problem with stepping up and taking what is “rightfully” yours or aggressively declaring what you want in any given matter (that is to refuse to submit to your husband’s leadership) is that you cause tension. What is most important to a man is your respect and in standing up to him you seem, in his mind, to disrespect his judgement or his character. You are no longer on his side. You are not for him, but against him.

Before I applied the principles of Fascinating Womanhood I would often insist on doing it my way. The problem with this is that I wanted a man. I wanted someone strong and in insisting on doing it my way I took away my husband’s “strength”. I got what I wanted but it left me unsatisfied because I was “stronger” than my husband, there was tension, and there was fighting. I also didn’t always get my way and then I was just as unhappy.

I started giving J the authority to make decisions. This did not mean that I didn’t get a say or just did what he wanted. I do voice my concerns and desires and he listens. Instead of us stubbornly opposing one another I tell him what I think and he weighs up the options and decides a course of action. This requires faith especially if you tend to worry about an outcome.

However I find more often than not J chooses my wishes over his. He will decide to do what I prefer simply because he has been given the honour to fulfil my desires, and so he sacrifices his own. He will furthermore always consider my insights into a matter because he knows the final decision ultimately rests on him (he does not have to fight for leadership). I have found that by submitting to my husband my ideas are listened to and my preferences taken into highest regard: in essence I have more power. I am also sheltered from any negative outcomes caused by our decision because it is him that takes responsibility for it all and my respect for him increases. It benefits both of us. J has my respect and I have his love.